"JCHEES!"

Anabel,

This morning you brought this to me and said “JCHEES”. I just taught you how to say “Jesus”.

What a complicated idea that I will teach you about Jesus. The son of God. One whom I have believed in, and in whom I haven't.

Will you learn that this Jesus died for your sins and the sins of the world? Will you someday think this Jesus isn't near to you? Or perhaps that he hates you because you did something wrong?

Will you grow up and rethink what you were taught about “Jchees”? Or perhaps abandon it altogether?

Or perhaps worse, will you somehow think that Jchees is about being better than people, and give you an idea that He hates certain people, and that this narrow path you will learn about means that you've got it made, and others will burn eternally because they weren't as lucky as you.

One thing I feel when you bring over Jchees to me is this… I love Him. I'm excited and hopeful that one day you will feel His love. That in him rests the hope for all mankind, and the hope of our forgiveness.

Perhaps one day Jchees will inspire you to love people that sit in the shadows of the church. Maybe you will forsake progress and money for love because of Jchees. Maybe you will do daring and wonderful things because you discover Jchees did that for you.

I sure do hope so.

I sure do hope that I can teach you to find love and life through Jchees, and not a shallow, moral code.

Anabel, I hope someday you learn to dance in this love that Jchees has for you. That it is freedom, and not a burden.

You know what else? Don't waste a minute of your life feeling shame or guilt. I once thought that was what Jchees was about. But, I don't think that anymore. That somehow you need to be something you're not for Jchees. That is a silly idea.

We'll walk this together I suppose. We'll learn about Jchees together. We'll eventually start conversations and prayers.

But for now you just hold this little baby in your hands. You hold him and yell “Jchees!” and make sure he has his mommy. His love is here with you, Anabel, even though you are completely ignorant of it.

And above all I hope you keep holding this in your hands. I hope you never let it go. I hope that you never get caught up in cynicism and disappointment. I hope you never leave this love because you didn't feel you could be yourself, or live up to the standards. Don't ever lose your childlike love and wonder of this baby.

I truly believe in Him is the light of life. That He came to bring love to this world. This is such a complicated, messy, awful religion sometimes. So, I want you to ask questions all you want. But, try not to let Him go. Hold this baby close to your heart.

It's so easy to do the wrong thing

I'm sitting in a coffee shop before work and I just read this:

If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care - then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. (Philippians 2:1-4 MSG)

Last night I completely picked apart a speaker at a youth event. In my head I told myself that I wasn't sure I really could be a part of Christianity. I let myself think that becoming a prideful, cynical jerk was the right thing to do.

One thing I've seen and learned myself is this: prideful people are miserable people. There is a real peace and joy that comes when people choose to serve.

That's what I want to change today.

I think that scripture is important.

It's a lesson I'm learning and hope someday you live it out as well.

I'm broken, but I love you

Anabel, Last night I rocked you to sleep. I held your little face in my hands and told you "daddy is broken, but he loves you". Someday I might let you down. Someday I wonder if I'll say the wrong things, or become distracted. I want you to know that I'm broken. I am not going to live up to everything you need. But, I love you. I don't think I can love anything more than I love you. Even though I might be broken, I love you.

Anabel, where are you going?

Anabel,

I never want to pressure you to live out the dreams I missed out on in my life. I don't want to burden you with unreal expectations. But one thing I do want to warn you about is cynicism. I've let that become something that steals my happiness from time to time.

Today I watched you crawling on the floor. You were carefree. Cynicism isn't a part of your outlook yet, and I love that. I don't really ever want you to lose that.

It's true you know. There's a lot of things to be cynical about. There's a lot of terrible things in this world. But cynicism doesn't do anything to change all those bad things. The only thing that will change bad things is if we live in the opposite way.

The world needs people that bring light to this world. There are already plenty that sit around cursing the darkness. You don't ever have to get caught up in that. I've done that far too much.

Faith is so important to us, you know? But if faith leads you to not love and not hope and stand around judging those that aren't like you... Well, that's not what we're aiming for. Our faith leads us to love the people around us, and to give them the love that we believe we were all created in. Don't get caught up in who's a democrat or republican, gay or straight, American/Canadian or Indian/Mexican/Filipino and so on. Love blindly. When people tell you that following Jesus means you have to turn your backs on people not like you, brush that off. That's not what is real to us.

Try to spend your time living what you believe. There's no need to spend time writing cynical blogs on the Internet. Plenty of other people will do that. Rather, before you give an opinion ask yourself if you have seen that opinion take action in your life first. Don't blog about what other people should be doing. Inspire people to do things when they see your life.

It's inevitable you'll run into cynics along the way. I know it can be a huge bummer. But, don't let them stop you. If they have a point, and there's something you can change, don't be afraid to apologize and change. But if they're out to lunch, don't let it get to you.

Oh yeah! Almost forgot. Don't be fooled. Being cynical about cynics isn't the answer either. That just makes you a cynic!

Today I saw in you a girl that has a lot of light. I'm praying that the light in you brings out the light in others. When someone calls your name, never be afraid to turn around and smile at them. Never let cynicism darken that light in you.

From your Daddy, who loves you very much.